4/27/2007 - Friday
- 4/27/2007 9:30:00 AMDan's Doctor VisitI had a doctor appointment for a physical today. The nurse led me to an exam room where she asked me a ton of questions. They were all typical family health history related. As she looked over my chart she commented, "I see you need a physical so that you can adopt". "Yes", I said.
A while later, the doctor came in. He also reviewed my chart and commented on some questions I answered for the nurse. Then he said, "So, I see you are doing this for an adoption."
"Yes", I said.
"Where is the child coming from?" he asked. "Russia", I said. "Is this the little boy that was in here a few weeks ago?"
"Yes", I said.
"That's great! That's awesome!", said the doctor. "God bless you! That's great! Your bed in heaven is going to be so soft."
I was floored by his overwhelming and open response. "How can I help? Where can I give?", he continued. "I know lots of people here who would love to help out on something like this!"
"Wow! Thank you. Thank you so much", I said.
He asked about the cost and I explained the details to him. I told him the story of the church governing board meeting and what we were doing to raise funds. When I got home I was just at a loss for words. I was moved to tears at his generosity and how the God of the universe moves the hearts of men.
Wow! Awesome! Wow! Thank you LORD!
4/26/2007 - Thursday
- 4/26/2007 1:00:00 PMSelling FireworksPeggy called me at work today. She mentioned that she was talking to a friend of hers (Lois) and telling her about the adoption. She told Lois, "now we are working on raising funds and we need some ideas."
It turns out that Lois and her family are selling fireworks for TNT this summer. TNT has an opening in the Green Bay area and they need a family to run the tent in the parking lot of Wal-Mart for 10 days prior and up to July 4. What a blessing!
So we signed up with TNT and we're selling fireworks to raise money this summer.
We will earn 20% of the sales for the 10 days. We're not sure how much that will be but every little bit counts.
Due to the value and amount of fireworks in the tent, we have to man the tent 24/7. This means sleeping in the tent in Wal-Mart's parking lot. So from now until then, I'll be lining up volunteers to spend the night with me and the guard dog. Additionally, we need to come up with a small portable generator and a cash register. TNT will provide the tent, tables, and a mobile credit card machine.
Very Exciting! It is very interesting how God provides.
4/25/2007 - Wednesday
- 4/25/2007 10:30:00 PMMeeting With The Governing BoardDue to the overwhelming response we have received from other people - both from within the congregation and outside of it, it was not long before we began to realize that this was about far more than adopting a child from Russia. It was about the core beliefs of the gospel of Jesus Christ - namely loving God and loving others.
We began to inquire of the church about the possibility of creating a new fund for people to contribute their financial gifts and claim them as a tax exemption. Because the church is a non-profit organization with its own goals, we had to abide by not only the church's by-laws but also those of the State of Wisconsin.
I prepared a PowerPoint presentation and we met with the Governing Board of our church after Wednesday evening activities. We covered some key verses and also an overview of our mission statement. I think it was well received and thought provoking. Members of the board expressed concern about setting a precedent for future congregational requests. In then end, all requests of this nature must be reviewed by the Governing Board and decided upon. This is what we did and we would have to proceed based on their decision.
The key here is that by creating a Widows and Orphans Fund, we have no control over it or rights to it. This is a ministry of the church and people can choose to give to it or not. All money issued from the fund is decided upon by the board. Ultimately - they (the Governing Board) control the fund. We knew this and we are reminded every day that this is turning out to be much bigger than we thought.
The meeting lasted until way past 9:00 PM. By the time it was done, we had received more than we asked for.
4/13/2007 - Friday
- 4/13/2007 6:30:00 PMThe Decision Is MadeAs of last Friday, my wife and I have decided to move forward with the adoption process of Yuri. This decision comes after extremely deep and careful thought and consideration. We have prayed, fasted, searched the scripture and sought Godly council. In the end, our only conclusion was this was the right thing to do. For me personally, the key moment was when I came to the conclusion that my responsibility in this matter was to say "yes" to God's will and trust the financing to Him.
Over the last few weeks, we have worked through a great deal of emotional anguish as we contemplated the personal and financial cost of adopting. Our church family and friends have been very open and supportive in sharing the emotional burden and particularly the cost of making this decision. When I began to mull over taking out a loan against my home equity, I was imagining the full weight of the burden on my shoulders alone. In doing so, I was actually depriving other people the opportunity of sharing the not only the load but also the joy of seeing it come to fruition. People came out of the woodwork offering their support and took great interest in what God was doing and looked for an opportunity to join. Ultimately my plan robbed God of glory. This is something that I never thought of. WOW!
We are currently in the process of setting up a fund at our local church and bank that can receive tax-deductible donations from those who are interesting in giving towards the process. For now, we will begin our home study program with Catholic Charities of Green Bay. This will take approximately 1 month to complete. During this time, we will also have to fill out immigration paperwork as well as get finger-printed and get passports and visas. This is all new to me and quite stressful. In the end, we will be making a trip to Moscow for an appointment with a Russian judge followed by a 12 hour train ride to the orphanage to pick up Yuri. If everything goes "well", I will have a new son by Christmas.
4/3/2007 - Tuesday
- 4/3/2007 11:09:10 AMListening and DoingJames 1
1James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,
To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations:
Greetings.
Trials and Temptations
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
9The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. 10But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. 11For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.
12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
13When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
16Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. 17Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.
Listening and Doing
19My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 21Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
22Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does.
26If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. 27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
4/1/2007 - Sunday
- 4/1/2007 8:24:44 PMDay 10 - Sunday - Good ByeWe had heavy rain last night and I had a hard time sleeping. Peggy and I got up at 5:00 AM so we had plenty of time to get to Appleton for the 8:00 Service at St. Peter Ev Lutheran Church. We were asked us to be there by 7:45 so I planned to leave around 6:30. This is way earlier than going to service at our home church in Oconto Falls. The church is old and beautiful but also small. They run 2 services. A smaller, more traditional service at 8:00 and a much larger and more contemporary service at 10:30. All of the Russian children opened the service by singing a song that went something like this:
Hello everybody,
how do you do?
How do you do?
How do you do?
Hello everybody,
how do you do?
Jesus loves you today.
Then at the end of the service they sang some songs along with the children who go to that church and school.
In between services, we went over to the school and hung out while the gym was being prepared. Fruit, cookies and coffee were placed out for us. Yuri immediately went for the cookies and orange juice. We said "no" to the cookies but allowed him a small cup of orange juice, some cheese curds, some snack crackers and an apple. Within 15 minutes he came back for more. "Pleeeeeeese moma? Pleeeeeeeeese papa?" "No Yuri!"
Unhappy about the responses he got from Peggy and I, he immediately went to the translator to plead his case. It was not long before he had dragged her back to the counter where things were layed out. "He is thirsty", she said. What she didn't know is that by this time, he had already eaten a bunch of cheese curds, some chex-mix snacks, an apple and 2 cups of orange juice. He ended up taking a carton of milk. We asked her to explain to Yuri that sugar had adverse affects on him and we were not going to allow him to have it. If he was good during the service, he could have a cookie afterwards.
We sat in the main hall, just outside of the gym. The translator had some Russian hats for everyone to wear while she took pictures. I took video of all the children as they sang some kind of Russian song. Some of the children really got into it. They knew the words and actions and sang them out loud. I talked with Peggy's mom and she said, "I've really come to love that little guy". She had only met with Yuri a handful of times but already her heart was moved.
When I think of the feelings I have for my wife and children, they are deep and complex. They are part of my soul - my inner self. These are not the kind of feelings that over come you when you first smell a sweet fragrance or see something enchanting for the first time. I have given a great deal of thought and contemplation towards my wife and children over the last 20 years. I have decided to acknowledge my responsibilities to them before God. To commit myself to serving their needs and to be a student of their ways and habits, both in good times and bad. In the end it is better for me, better for them and it honors God. When I think of love, loving my wife and children and the love I feel towards other people - this is what I think about.
We sat right in the front row for the 10:30 Service. It was more or less the same as the 1st service but with ten times as many people. They had a worship team with a keyboard, drums and a base guitar. They introduced the Russian children and had them sing their opening song. During the wait until their next song, Yuri became very antsy. He picked his nose continuously and I told him to stop. He smiled, giggled and simulated eating his boogers. He knows that we think it is gross and he thinks its funny to taunt us about it. YUCK!
By the time of the next song by the children came, Yuri announced that he had to use the toilet. All the other children went to the stage and he headed for the restroom saying, "toilet, toilet". The teacher insisted that he go on stage instead. He went up with the other kids but it was clear that his mind was on going potty. He stood in front and sang loud and clear. When he got down, he looked to the translator and said, "toilet". She told him in Russian, "5 minutes". Fortunately for Yuri, Peggy had been watching the whole thing and brought him to the rest room.
Towards the end of the service, the Pastor asked all of the host families to stand before the congregation to be recognized. The people clapped for us. The Pastor gave a very brief overview of the Light House Project and then introduced the promotional video from this visit. It is a compilation of clips that were taken from the beginning of the trip and included all of the children. There was quite a bit of footage of Yuri.
The video itself is only about 12 minutes long. After an hour of service and sitting on metal chairs, many people from the congregation got up and walked out during the video. That was disturbing. My butt hurt from sitting so long but since I was a little closer to the meaning of the video, it was no problem to sit a little longer and watch it.
After the service, I got directions to the home where we would drop Yuri off at and asked what time we needed to be there. Peggy talked with the translator and asked if Yuri knew he was leaving today. She said, "yes. He knows". There was also a double birthday party going on for 2 previous orphans who were adopted in 2005, so Yuri also knew that as well. I could see in Peggy's face that her pain and emotion were about to flood over. It didn't take much and she burst into tears.
Grandma Carol had some gifts for Yuri. She had purchased 2 very nice silver crucifix's. One for him and one for him to give to a friend. He seemed to like them very well and put one on right away. She asked if we were going to stop over at her house yet this afternoon to visit and see Uncle Larry's dogs. We said yes and then headed out. When we arrived, Yuri got to see Larry's fish tank. It is very large and impressive. He now has quite a few very colorful fish and they are nice to watch. Larry was giving one of his dogs a bath and brushing it out. Yuri got a close up look at the dogs. I think he was more interested in the fish.
We only stayed at Grandma's for a few minutes and then headed home for lunch. I made some fish fillets with hash browns and corn. Yuri squirted ketchup on everything, including the fish. I asked him how he liked his corn and he indicated that he didn't like it. Perhaps I misunderstood because it was the first thing gone from his plate.
After lunch, I decided to check the newspaper to see if my Powerball numbers won anything.
No matching numbers.
At this point, I decided not to speak of this with Peggy until after Yuri left so as not to ruin the day. I wondered what Peggy might say if I told her what I had done and the results. I think it probably would have been too heavy for her to consider and it was not the right time. I would just let today be and keep the news to myself until after he left.
Peggy made herself busy most of the afternoon. She had Yuri's laundry to do and had to pack his suit case. Yuri played with the remote control car and ran through the house as usual. He asked for popcorn as usual and seemed to be in good spirits. We wondered if any of this was as much on his mind as it was on ours. Before we left, we made some popcorn for him and left him watch Scoobie-doo. He got another cookie as well.
When it was time to go, I called him and tapped on his backpack and suit case. He quickly put on his shoes, hat and coat. He shouldered his very heavy backpack and grabbed his suit case and headed for the door. He is a boy how doesn't goof around when it is time to go somewhere - including back to Russia. It was the same as when he arrived 10 days ago. He seemed to have an attitude of, "just do it".
The trip to Black Creek was about one hour and the van was very quiet. James and Megan exchanged some light banter and I think it bothered Peggy. Yuri sat quietly and stared out the window. Peggy asked Megan to look back at his face to see if he looked sad. Megan said it looked like he had no expression on his face and it was tough to tell what he was feeling. Perhaps he was sad or maybe he was just contemplating the next aspect of his journey to America - going home.
We arrived at the drop off house at 7:00 PM. It was very lively and filled with kids. I got out the video camera and followed Yuri into the house. He was toting all of his stuff and James carried a box of extra things that could not fit. When we got in the house, I noticed all of the shoes by the door. I took off my shoes and told Ellie to do the same. I figured we would talk for a little while and then say good bye. The translator began saying, "We'll have mom and dad say a quick 'good bye' and then we have to get packing. We have a big day tomorrow and not much time." I guess she didn't want us to hang around!
We said our good-bye and got some last minute translated words from Yuri. He said things like, "I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." He called Ellie his, "little shadow". He said he had left a note on his bed for us. We left almost as quickly as we arrived. It seemed to me that it was a little hasty but also maybe better that way. Peggy began to cry as she walked back to the van.
The ride home was morbid. James commented that we needed less sadness in the van. Other than that, no one said anything. When we got home, I scolded James about his words. "Don't you know that your mom's heart is broken?" I asked. James was partially correct about the gloomy feeling - it didn't feel good and it was better to be happy. He was just a little insensitive about saying it.
We sat quietly in the dining room and didn't say much. Ellie began to draw a map of Wisconsin and asked where we lived. I helped her draw the roads and pointed out where we had traveled over the last few days. We all went to bed. Peggy kissed me good night and said nothing. There was nothing to say.
As I fell asleep I wondered, Would things return to they way it had been before Yuri's visit? What would be different? I'm not sure what life would be like from now on but one thing I do know. I have a capacity for love that is greater than what I have known before. We had considered adoption but when the opportunity presented itself, we were not ready. This had to change. It feels like there is an overhaul of the Sopata house on the horizon. Stay tuned.
