5/31/2007 - Thursday

• 5/31/2007 6:13:17 PMNotary ScareWord on the street is that we may have to have some (or all) of our notarized documents rewritten (and re-notarized).
  
  Well, that is a little exaggeration.  In truth, we have received word from the home study agency that they frequently get notarized documents returned/rejected from foreign governments because the notary stamped over their own signature.  From what I understand, this is what notaries are taught here in the U.S. as proper technique.  This way, it makes it more difficult for someone to alter or add to their signature.  Apparently they don't like this in some foreign countries.
  
  After reviewing our documentation, it appears that only some of them were notarized this way and we will have to have them redone.  What a pain.  I guess it is better to do this now than be 10,000 miles away from home at the point of no return and have it rejected.

5/30/2007 - Wednesday

• 5/30/2007 10:13:17 PMParenting Class - 3rd WednesdayTonight we listened to an advocate for Indian Affairs.  In our area of the country, the local tribe is the Oneida's.  From what I understand about them, they are broken into two groups: one in North East Wisconsin and another in up-state New York.  In college, I had to take a foreign language so I took Oneida.  One thing that came out of that class was the state of the Oneida language.  They estimate that between the 2 tribes, less than 100 people can actively speak the language.  It's dying.
  
  The Oneida's have some basic and genuine concerns about adoption.  The speaker covered a lot of Native American history at a high level and I was reminded of how poorly they were treated over the last 150 years.  One of their greatest concerns was, "we have already lost too many of our children."  This comment was made in regards to the massive number of children who were taken from Native American homes for the sake of incorporating them into our white-anglo culture.  It made me think of the movie, "The Education of Little Tree".  Looking back at the atrocities done to their culture is enough to turn your stomach.
  
  That being said, the Oneida's (as well as most all American tribes) are very interested in what happens to their children.  The tribe as a whole will not release the authority to adopt one of their children to a family outside the tribe until all tribal avenues have been pursued.  This makes sense to me, especially considering another of their concerns:  "Our children represent our future".
  
  Well said.
• 5/30/2007 1:34:37 PMNotery at noonThis afternoon we went to see the notary in Lena.  We had a fairly large stack of papers to sign and it took a while to get through them all.  I remember thinking how nice it was to have notary public available in our small town.  There was no waiting in line, no nasty looks or faces by disgruntled workers - just a very polite smile an a willingness to help.
  
  The town Sheriff was off today so our safety was being guarded by a part time officer.  He was very helpful too.  We asked them to create a report of all of our recorded criminal activity so that we could submit it to the adoption agency and Russian government.  The officer asked us, "who are you?".  It is some what comforting to know that the local law enforcement does not know you.  He said, "I don't see your name in the computer anywhere."  That was a good feeling.
  
  The report from the police station was short.  It basically said, "they have no criminal record".  Whew!  One more step in the process is complete.

5/24/2007 - Thursday

• 5/24/2007 3:43:05 PMEstimated Fee ScheduleWe've had many people continue to ask about the cost of adopting.  Particularly, the cost of international adoption.  In light of this, I have created a new Estimated Adoption Cost web page that helps clear up some of the questions.  You can get to it by clicking on the hyperlink above or by going to the FAQ page.  There is a link in the answer to the first question.
  

5/23/2007 - Wednesday

• 5/23/2007 10:02:18 PMParenting Class - 2nd WednesdayTonight we had 2 more speakers at parenting class.  We met in a different building than previously.  It was setup more like a classroom and much more comfortable.  I wouldn't mind if the rest of the classes were moved here.
  
  The evening was only scheduled to be 2 hours long so each speaker had a very limited amount of time.  The first speaker asked each of us to tell a little bit about ourselves, what we were doing and where we were in our adoption/foster care journey.  This ate up about 30 minutes.
  
  For the last 30 minutes she basically said the following:
  These children will be grieving because of the loss in their lives.  Loss of parents as well as everything they have ever known and you have to understand this.
  
  The 2nd speaker discussed child development from birth to 3 years.  She primarily works with children and families when there is concerns that the child is "not where it is supposed to be" (developmentally speaking).  She uses a system of playing to determine what the child knows and is capable of doing.  One thing that she stressed is that all children are different and cannot be measured using a standard chart or scale.
  
  For example, when should a child begin talking?  She preferred to use the term "communicating".  Is the child communicating it's wants or needs regardless of whether or not he is using words?  Sometimes she is actually working with children who need help while other times she works with parents and their expectations of their children.  In many cases, the developmental progress is compared to some national chart but what is lost is that children begin doing certain things during a particular time range rather than a specific time.  Children begin walking between 8 and 18 months.  Some children never crawl and go from sitting to standing up to walking.  What ever they do, we must be careful not to be quick to label them as "advanced" or "behind" but rather "on their own schedule".

5/19/2007 - Saturday

• 5/19/2007 6:00:00 PMAll Day Parenting ClassToday we attended our all day parenting class with Catholic Family Charities.  They had 2 speakers lined up for us to hear.  The first speaker was a local child therapist who gave us a high level overview of human development theory as outlined by Eric Ericson.  I had heard some of this before in college but had forgotten most of it.  After having been a parent for 18 years, I could definitely relate to some of the stages of life she described.  Her technical and in-depth explanation of each stage was very interesting.
  
  One thing in particular that stood out was when she was talking about children with ADHD.  She said something like the following:
  "Our brains have really evoloved over a long period of time but things like ADD and ADHD have been with us since the beginning.  Back in the day when we were hunter/gatherers, having ADHD would have been to your advantage.  You would have been a great hunter because all of your senses would operate at a heightened level."
  
  For the most part, I was with her mentally until she said that.  The more I think about it, the more it seems that this does not jive with what I currently understand about Evolutionary Theory.  If it would have been to your advantage to have ADD or ADHD, then we would be seeing much more of this in our current population.  I don't thing we are seeing this... but on the other hand, it does seem that more people are being diagnosed with this more frequently these days.  But on the other hand, they say that the medication for ADHD is being over prescribed for a condition that doesn't exist... but on the other hand  -  Whoops!  I'm out of hands.
  
  The second speaker was also interesting if not a little depressing.  Her topic was "Behaviors of Abused Children".  She had a long list of things you might see  that included the following:
  
  - Limited mood regulation
  - Exaggerated startle response
  - Emotional numbness
  - Hyper-vigilance
  - Hyper-arousal
  - Helplessness in problem solving
  - Difficulty in organizing information
  - Oversensitive to stressful stimulation
  - High levels of shame
  - Decreased auditory processing when exposed to reminders of trauma
  
  There were 2 key things that stood out to me:
  1. Children who come from stable homes will play house
     Children who come from (sexually) abusive homes will play sexual games
  
  2. Children who don't emotionally attach to their parents will attempt to control them.
  
  Another topic she covered was the occurrence of disorders based on heredity verses environmental factors.  For example:
  - 15% of the population has some kind of anxiety disorder
     - of this 15%, between 8-30% get it from their parents, the rest from the environment.
  
  - For depression
    - 10% to 25% of women experience depression while only 5% to 12% of men do
    - 60% of people who have depression acquired it via their parents
  
  - For schizophrenia
    - 80-85% of cases are genetic
    - there is only a 9% to 16% risk of passing this on to your children
  
  - For autism
    - occurrences are much higher when either the father is over 40 or the mother is over 35
  

5/16/2007 - Wednesday

• 5/16/2007 10:00:00 PMFirst Parenting ClassLast night we had the first of our 5 parenting classes given by Catholic Charities.  All totaled, we are required to have 16 hours of classes.  This will be spread out over 5 sessions (4 - 2 hour sessions on Wednesday evenings and 1 - 8 hour session on a Saturday).
  
  I wasn't sure what to expect from the classes.  I certainly don't know everything about parenting and nothing about parenting an adopted child but I do know some things.  After we arrived, one of the first things we had to do was introduce ourselves.  We went first.  By the time the last couple spoke up, it appeared that out of 15+ couples there (some with children, some not) - we had been married longer than all but 2 other couples.  One was married 27 years and the other 33.  One couple had 9 natural children and 5 adopted.  I would very much like to glean some information from them.
  
  Of all the people there, I recognized 4 couples that had also hosted a Russian child.  They were all in various stages of the process - some behind us and some ahead.  We are all struggling with the same basic issues: the cost, the wait, piles of paperwork, the parenting class, and the general frustration of the experience.  Some of the other couples were adopting from China and Guatamala while the rest of the people were either involved in a U.S. adoption or doing foster care.
  
  I believe that when all is said and done and Yuri is home, we are going to have a close and unique friendship with the other families who went through this along with us.  One thing is certain, none of us will ever be the same.

5/9/2007 - Wednesday

• 5/9/2007 12:30:00 PMGood WaterThe water test came back from the county.  It appears that our well water is safe to drink.  That's good.  I've been drinking it all along.  This is just one more thing out of the way.

5/6/2007 - Sunday

• 5/6/2007 12:08:00 PMTest me in thisMalachi 3:10 says
  "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."
  
  This past Sunday was "Great Commission Sunday" at church.  Our church goal is to send 10% of our total annual giving towards missions and we have until June to do it.  We were just short of the goal until yesterday's offering.  Not only did we exceed our missions goal for the year, but we had an enormous offering for the general fund as well.  
  
  In addition to the large offering, some nice donations came in for the orphan fund.  All of this was capped off when I received an additional donation on Monday from a young man named Jonathan.  What a blessing that was!  
  
  These are the kinds of things that will drop a man to his knees and praise the Living God.  What a mighty God we serve!

5/4/2007 - Friday

• 5/4/2007 2:41:38 PMDefender Our friends sent us this nice photo of Yuri.  It was taken while he was playing at their house for the afternoon.  Thank you Robin!
  
  

5/2/2007 - Wednesday

• 5/2/2007 11:39:09 AMBleaching The WellAs part of the adoption requirements, we are required to have the water at our home checked.  Since we don't live in the city - we have our own well.
  
  When the well was first dug 8 years ago, one of the precautions we had to take was to bleach it.  This process is very similar in nature to shocking a swimming pool.  In this case, we poured 4 or 5 gallons of non-scented bleach down the well and ran the garden hose into the well head for about 15 minutes.  This churned up the water and mixed everything real nice.  The purpose then was to kill any bacteria that may have gotten into the well water from the top soil during the drilling process.  Since the initial bleaching 8 years ago, we have had very good (if not a little hard) water (25 ppm).
  
  So now we have to get our well water checked again.  Just to make sure it was free of any bacteria, we decided to bleach it again.  In hind sight, we should have just taken a sample and sent it in for testing first.  Then if it required bleaching, we could have done that.  But of course... that is not what we did.  (Lesson #1)
  
  So last night around 8 PM we dumped in the bleach and ran the hose into the well for 15 minutes.  After that, we ran the spigots in the house so that they filled with bleach water.  While the hose ran, all of the sediment in the well became mixed with the water.  When we ran the water into the house it was all brown and disgusting.  I think we should have let the water sit for a while before we turned on the inside spigots (Lesson #2).   After this we let it sit over night.
  
  In the morning, we ran the hose out into the field and let it run until the water became clear and the strong smell of bleach was gone.  The water cleared up within about 3 or 4 minutes, the bleach smell remained for a long time.  I honestly don't remember how long we let the hose run the first time we did this but today I let it run for about 4 hours.  That is not enough time (Lesson #3).
  
  I took a shower later in the afternoon and the whole bathroom smelled like a swimming pool locker room.  I was clean though!  I think we'll take the sample some time next week.