1/5/2010 - Tuesday

• 1/5/2010 12:30:00 PMWartsMichael is a right-handed person and has warts on his right hand.  He also has them in the places where ever his right hand can reach.  This includes his crack, up the right side of his torso, around his right nipple, and the right side of his face – in particular – about 1 inch below his right eye.
  
  I told him, "You know that is a virus don't you?  It can spread to anywhere or anything you touch.  Think for a moment about all the places you put your fingers."
  
  "Yuck!", he exclaims.
  
  "That's right", I say.  "How did you get that one in your crack?  Did you put it there before or after you ate your boogers?  By the way, have you looked up inside your nose lately?"
  
  So he's got this horn looking wart peak sticking out of his right cheek just below his eye.  It has a head on it and I'm a little reluctant to put any Compound-W on it because it is so close to his eye.  None of the kids (or Mom or I) like to touch him because as I mentioned – warts spread.  Perhaps this sounds like a terrible thing for a parent to feel or say, but keep in mind, Michael is a person of intent.  He seldom does things on accident but rather devises short sighted and poorly thought out plans to achieve some kind mentally and emotionally stimulating "quick-fix".  The last thing anyone wants is for him to suddenly decide that he wants to rub one of his warts on us.  So what does Michael do?  He positions himself in front of anyone he can, looks them in the face, and then begins to pick at his facial wart with his long dirty fingernails.  
  
  I said to him, "what are you doing?".
  
  "I don't know Dad", he replies.
  
  "Why are you doing this?", I ask again.
  
  "I know it irritates you and mom", he says.
  (* This is always a stunner when it comes out of his mouth.  I wish I was kidding about it but it is the truth. *)
  
  "Don't you know that this could spread into your eye?", I ask?
  
  As Michael's mental gears come to a full grinding stop, the blank "deer in the headlights" stare emerges once again.
  
  In computer programming terms, his condition might be demonstrated as follows:
  
  If (brain.functioning = false) Then
    facial.expression = BrainDead
  End If
  
  I'm not kidding.  He has zero expression on his face.   He stops blinking and his pupils dilate.  Really!  (Brain.Status = Off)  Again – I wish I was kidding about this, but it's the truth.
  
  "Why would you want to irritate anyone by picking at a wart on your face?", I ask.  "Why would you want to hurt yourself just to make other people angry?"
  
  After a long silent period he says, "I don't know.  I just wanted to."
  (* The funny thing here is that I believe he is telling the truth.  He just wanted to and he doesn't know why. *)
  
  "Do you want people to be angry with you?", I ask.
  
  Michael very quickly responds, "NO!"
  
  "Then why would you try to irritate them?", I ask.
  
  "I don't know", he answers.
  
  Yesterday after he was busted picking away at "Mike's Peak", Peggy brought him in the bathroom and ripped it off.  She put some triple-antibiotic cream on it and covered it with a band aid.  There's nothing like having a band aid on your face to draw other people's attention.  When I was in Jr. High School, this would be emotionally devistating for a young person but I guess in a strange way, Michael was satisfied with that.  
  
  I suppose he got what he wanted – which was for people to notice him.  You would think that this is some kind of a sign that perhaps deep inside during his formative years he felt like he was ignored or neglected.  Perhaps he was, but his behavior is a little more sick than that and now there is no amount of attention that is enough to satisfy his inner emptiness.  He will take anything and everything he can get - good attention or bad.
  
  So last night when I got home, I had to bring the kids to 4-H.  We all sat in a circle, talked, and played a game.  During the game, they passed around a bag of candy.  When it got to Michael, he looked at me to see if I was going to say, "go ahead".  At this point, I don't honestly know if he remembered the events of the day or not.  He has previously demonstrated that even when he is aware that he is being punished or Mom and Dad are unhappy with him, that doesn't stop him from trying to extract a treat through means of manipulation.  
  
  Not taking any chances, I took the bag from him and said, "maybe if you wouldn't try to irritate people by picking at your warts, you could have some candy".  Then I opened up a peanut butter cup and ate it.  Michael got the pleasure of watching the bag go around and around and all 15 of the other kids eat candy.
  
  The sad thing about all of this is that a lesson like the candy example above which would normally work on any other child is ineffective on Michael.  He just won't or can't learn the lesson that bringing joy to other people comes back to you as happiness and joy, but bringing irritation comes back to you as anger which brings neither happiness nor joy.
  
  I talked to Peggy about an hour ago and he is at it again.  Not with the wart this time but something else that is equally as stupid.  There appears to be no end in sight.