- 4/1/2007 8:24:44 PMDay 10 - Sunday - Good ByeWe had heavy rain last night and I had a hard time sleeping. Peggy and I got up at 5:00 AM so we had plenty of time to get to Appleton for the 8:00 Service at St. Peter Ev Lutheran Church. We were asked us to be there by 7:45 so I planned to leave around 6:30. This is way earlier than going to service at our home church in Oconto Falls. The church is old and beautiful but also small. They run 2 services. A smaller, more traditional service at 8:00 and a much larger and more contemporary service at 10:30. All of the Russian children opened the service by singing a song that went something like this:
Hello everybody,
how do you do?
How do you do?
How do you do?
Hello everybody,
how do you do?
Jesus loves you today.
Then at the end of the service they sang some songs along with the children who go to that church and school.
In between services, we went over to the school and hung out while the gym was being prepared. Fruit, cookies and coffee were placed out for us. Yuri immediately went for the cookies and orange juice. We said "no" to the cookies but allowed him a small cup of orange juice, some cheese curds, some snack crackers and an apple. Within 15 minutes he came back for more. "Pleeeeeeese moma? Pleeeeeeeeese papa?" "No Yuri!"
Unhappy about the responses he got from Peggy and I, he immediately went to the translator to plead his case. It was not long before he had dragged her back to the counter where things were layed out. "He is thirsty", she said. What she didn't know is that by this time, he had already eaten a bunch of cheese curds, some chex-mix snacks, an apple and 2 cups of orange juice. He ended up taking a carton of milk. We asked her to explain to Yuri that sugar had adverse affects on him and we were not going to allow him to have it. If he was good during the service, he could have a cookie afterwards.
We sat in the main hall, just outside of the gym. The translator had some Russian hats for everyone to wear while she took pictures. I took video of all the children as they sang some kind of Russian song. Some of the children really got into it. They knew the words and actions and sang them out loud. I talked with Peggy's mom and she said, "I've really come to love that little guy". She had only met with Yuri a handful of times but already her heart was moved.
When I think of the feelings I have for my wife and children, they are deep and complex. They are part of my soul - my inner self. These are not the kind of feelings that over come you when you first smell a sweet fragrance or see something enchanting for the first time. I have given a great deal of thought and contemplation towards my wife and children over the last 20 years. I have decided to acknowledge my responsibilities to them before God. To commit myself to serving their needs and to be a student of their ways and habits, both in good times and bad. In the end it is better for me, better for them and it honors God. When I think of love, loving my wife and children and the love I feel towards other people - this is what I think about.
We sat right in the front row for the 10:30 Service. It was more or less the same as the 1st service but with ten times as many people. They had a worship team with a keyboard, drums and a base guitar. They introduced the Russian children and had them sing their opening song. During the wait until their next song, Yuri became very antsy. He picked his nose continuously and I told him to stop. He smiled, giggled and simulated eating his boogers. He knows that we think it is gross and he thinks its funny to taunt us about it. YUCK!
By the time of the next song by the children came, Yuri announced that he had to use the toilet. All the other children went to the stage and he headed for the restroom saying, "toilet, toilet". The teacher insisted that he go on stage instead. He went up with the other kids but it was clear that his mind was on going potty. He stood in front and sang loud and clear. When he got down, he looked to the translator and said, "toilet". She told him in Russian, "5 minutes". Fortunately for Yuri, Peggy had been watching the whole thing and brought him to the rest room.
Towards the end of the service, the Pastor asked all of the host families to stand before the congregation to be recognized. The people clapped for us. The Pastor gave a very brief overview of the Light House Project and then introduced the promotional video from this visit. It is a compilation of clips that were taken from the beginning of the trip and included all of the children. There was quite a bit of footage of Yuri.
The video itself is only about 12 minutes long. After an hour of service and sitting on metal chairs, many people from the congregation got up and walked out during the video. That was disturbing. My butt hurt from sitting so long but since I was a little closer to the meaning of the video, it was no problem to sit a little longer and watch it.
After the service, I got directions to the home where we would drop Yuri off at and asked what time we needed to be there. Peggy talked with the translator and asked if Yuri knew he was leaving today. She said, "yes. He knows". There was also a double birthday party going on for 2 previous orphans who were adopted in 2005, so Yuri also knew that as well. I could see in Peggy's face that her pain and emotion were about to flood over. It didn't take much and she burst into tears.
Grandma Carol had some gifts for Yuri. She had purchased 2 very nice silver crucifix's. One for him and one for him to give to a friend. He seemed to like them very well and put one on right away. She asked if we were going to stop over at her house yet this afternoon to visit and see Uncle Larry's dogs. We said yes and then headed out. When we arrived, Yuri got to see Larry's fish tank. It is very large and impressive. He now has quite a few very colorful fish and they are nice to watch. Larry was giving one of his dogs a bath and brushing it out. Yuri got a close up look at the dogs. I think he was more interested in the fish.
We only stayed at Grandma's for a few minutes and then headed home for lunch. I made some fish fillets with hash browns and corn. Yuri squirted ketchup on everything, including the fish. I asked him how he liked his corn and he indicated that he didn't like it. Perhaps I misunderstood because it was the first thing gone from his plate.
After lunch, I decided to check the newspaper to see if my Powerball numbers won anything.
No matching numbers.
At this point, I decided not to speak of this with Peggy until after Yuri left so as not to ruin the day. I wondered what Peggy might say if I told her what I had done and the results. I think it probably would have been too heavy for her to consider and it was not the right time. I would just let today be and keep the news to myself until after he left.
Peggy made herself busy most of the afternoon. She had Yuri's laundry to do and had to pack his suit case. Yuri played with the remote control car and ran through the house as usual. He asked for popcorn as usual and seemed to be in good spirits. We wondered if any of this was as much on his mind as it was on ours. Before we left, we made some popcorn for him and left him watch Scoobie-doo. He got another cookie as well.
When it was time to go, I called him and tapped on his backpack and suit case. He quickly put on his shoes, hat and coat. He shouldered his very heavy backpack and grabbed his suit case and headed for the door. He is a boy how doesn't goof around when it is time to go somewhere - including back to Russia. It was the same as when he arrived 10 days ago. He seemed to have an attitude of, "just do it".
The trip to Black Creek was about one hour and the van was very quiet. James and Megan exchanged some light banter and I think it bothered Peggy. Yuri sat quietly and stared out the window. Peggy asked Megan to look back at his face to see if he looked sad. Megan said it looked like he had no expression on his face and it was tough to tell what he was feeling. Perhaps he was sad or maybe he was just contemplating the next aspect of his journey to America - going home.
We arrived at the drop off house at 7:00 PM. It was very lively and filled with kids. I got out the video camera and followed Yuri into the house. He was toting all of his stuff and James carried a box of extra things that could not fit. When we got in the house, I noticed all of the shoes by the door. I took off my shoes and told Ellie to do the same. I figured we would talk for a little while and then say good bye. The translator began saying, "We'll have mom and dad say a quick 'good bye' and then we have to get packing. We have a big day tomorrow and not much time." I guess she didn't want us to hang around!
We said our good-bye and got some last minute translated words from Yuri. He said things like, "I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." He called Ellie his, "little shadow". He said he had left a note on his bed for us. We left almost as quickly as we arrived. It seemed to me that it was a little hasty but also maybe better that way. Peggy began to cry as she walked back to the van.
The ride home was morbid. James commented that we needed less sadness in the van. Other than that, no one said anything. When we got home, I scolded James about his words. "Don't you know that your mom's heart is broken?" I asked. James was partially correct about the gloomy feeling - it didn't feel good and it was better to be happy. He was just a little insensitive about saying it.
We sat quietly in the dining room and didn't say much. Ellie began to draw a map of Wisconsin and asked where we lived. I helped her draw the roads and pointed out where we had traveled over the last few days. We all went to bed. Peggy kissed me good night and said nothing. There was nothing to say.
As I fell asleep I wondered, Would things return to they way it had been before Yuri's visit? What would be different? I'm not sure what life would be like from now on but one thing I do know. I have a capacity for love that is greater than what I have known before. We had considered adoption but when the opportunity presented itself, we were not ready. This had to change. It feels like there is an overhaul of the Sopata house on the horizon. Stay tuned.
