- 3/26/2007 10:00:00 PMDay 4 - MondayA big day for Yuri today. 8:00 AM Dentist appointment with Dr. Evelyn Fredrick's in Gillett and a Dr. appointment at the hospital in Oconto Falls. I went to work so this is translated from what Peggy has told me.
Larissa the translator decided last night that she could not going to make it for the appointment today and was going to call but forgot. Peggy brought Yuri to the dentist office and when she discovered Larissa was not there, she called Marlyn's house asking where Larissa was. Marlyn said, "didn't she call you? She is in bed sleeping now. I'll go wake her up".
Yuri was scared to death. It seemed he was very much aware of where he was and the purpose for dentists - to cause little boys great pain through their mouth. Larissa got on the phone and told Yuri something like, "Be a good boy. They're not going to hurt you".
Evelyn was very good with Yuri. She brought him into another room where another young boy was having his teeth cleaned. Yuri watched while Evelyn tried her best to explain what was happening. In the end, she did not do a cleaning but just a visual inspection of his mouth. It seemed that Yuri had been to the dentist before as he had a very large filling on one of his adult teeth. Evelyn gave him a cookie for being a good boy. He also got a new tooth brush and some floss.
After the dentist, Peggy took all of the kids over to the Herzog farm to play and have lunch. Yuri got a tractor ride from Jon Herzog and ran around and played. The Herzog farm might as well be an amusement park. There are adventures waiting to happen everywhere - hay to dig through, cows to chase and again... more horsing around.
At 3:30, Peggy brought Yuri to the hospital for his check up. She finally met up with Larissa and Tatayna there. Yuri is in the 75th percentile for both weight and height and is generally a very healthy boy.
I left work 1 hour early so that I could help get the house cleaned up and prepare dinner for our guests Larissa and Tatayna. We were both excited and nervous for the visit. Over the last few weeks we have been wondering about Yuri's past, Russia and everything else related and were looking forward to getting some answers. Since he arrived, we've been wondering what he has been saying to us. We were hoping we could get a clear story of Yuri's life and what is in store for him when he returns to the orphanage.
So much was said in the next few hours it is difficult to get it all straight but here are the highlights:
- We were told that Yuri was the youngest of 3 children but when asked about having any older siblings, Yuri said he had no older brothers or sisters.
- Yuri's mother died in 2003. She told Yuri that his biological father was a pilot and he died in a plane crash. Larissa said that it was very common for unwed mothers to use such stories as a cover for fathers who have run off. Yuri's mother remarried but either Yuri didn't like his step-father or the other way around. Either way, this man - the step father - is still alive and visited Yuri at the orphanage a little over 1 year ago.
- We asked about how Yuri's mother died and he didn't want to talk about it.
- Foster care is something that is just taking hold in Russia. Since it is a socialist country, people use it as an occupation. We asked what are Yuri's chances of being taken in by a foster family. Larissa said, "not good". He is a boy (strike 1), He is too old (strike 2), He eats too much (strike 3).
- We asked if he knew what was going on - the purpose of this visit. Larissa was not certain if Yuri understood. Many of the orphans, especially the older ones, know that sometimes when an orphan goes to visit the U.S., sometimes the American couple comes back for them and takes them home. For the orphans that go and then don't get adopted, they often become depressed and believe that they are garbage humans or that they did something wrong.
- Most of the orphans know who God and Jesus are. They know about forgiveness, mercy and grace but only on a conceptual level. These are all just words with no personal conviction attached to there meaning. Without regular training, and being immersed in anything, everything is relative. I suppose this is true everywhere but it is very obvious here.
- We tried to fish out of Yuri whether or not he understood what adoption was and what his feelings about it were. Yuri was asked, "when you go back to Russia, what would you like to say to the people you're staying with? What is your wish for them?" Yuri replied that he wished we were wealthy and had a happy life. When asked what he wished for himself, he would not answer.
- Larissa said that Yuri is a boy who although is high-energy - perhaps a little ADD, he responds very well to direction. She said this is good and bad depending on who he gets himself mixed up with. With the proper direction and mentoring, he could do very well. All orphans get first crack at getting into universities in Russia. However, many orphans lack the basic skills necessary to do well in post-high school education. In fact, many flat out do not know how to manage their lives and drink themselves to death. She said, Yuri's future is very uncertain at this point.
- Larissa recalled a conversation she had with another hosting family. Apparently they were not as interested in discussing the child they were hosting as much as they were interesting in telling Larissa what they knew of life in Russia. This bored her to no end. She said, "That child living in their home has NOTHING and they wanted to tell ME what they thought about Russia. I don't think they get it. " (meaning the purpose for the orphan children being here and what being a host family, and furthermore being a Christian was all about)
- Larissa asked what we thought of Yuri, how he was fitting into our family and adopting him. To sum it up, the reports we received about him were far more scary than our observations of him. He is a very energetic boy but he is very pleasant to be around. He is respectful and compassionate. He responds well to authority and fits in with our children. No doubt, his mannerisms are a little different than ours but if he were with us for a year, I believe our family would run like a well oiled machine.
When the evening was done, Peggy took Larissa, Tatyna back to DePere to be picked up by Maryln. She brought Yuri and Megan along for the ride. I guess Yuri fell asleep in the van shortly after they left. Larissa relayed more stories of past adoptions. Some went well and others didn't. She told Peggy that she has a very kind husband. :-)
Peggy and I stayed up talking until Emily got home. We discussed the things Larissa said. Peggy said that she wanted to make a decision about adopting Yuri before he headed back for Russia. I told her that I was not going to make any decisions until after this visit was over. Emily asked what more I needed to know. She seemed to imply that the decision seemed to be obvious. Peggy said that she was ready to decide now and her vote would be "yes".
Peggy told me a little more of what happened at the doctor's office today. Larissa and Tatyna were trying to squeeze some information from Yuri about his past, his mother and what he thought. During the questions, he said he was afraid of losing his new special friend. When asked who that was, he pointed to Peggy and said, "momma".
