- 7/19/2009 4:29:20 PMSebaka has died Today was a sad day in our household. Our family dog for the last 9 and a half years died quite suddenly and a little unexpectedly.
Roy was an 85 lb. Golden Retriever that was born in our home in October of 1999. It was during the night that his mother gave birth - first to him and then eight other puppies, one of which was stillborn. The other puppies were either sold or given away to family. Roy stayed with us and enjoyed the casual life of a country dog. He liked to sleep on the bed of my oldest daughter or on the sofa when no one was looking. He was particularly fond of tissues from the trash and rolling in stinky things on our land.
When Michael came to our home in 2007, the first thing he saw when he entered our home was Roy. As with any dog, there was excitement, some barking, prancing around, and of course tail waging. At 3:30 AM, Michael entered our house and shouted out with joy, "Sebaka!!!" - which is the Russian word for dog.
Over the last year or so, we could see that Roy was slowing down. His face was nearly white and he was slightly over weight. Perhaps that is because one of his favorite activities was eating milk bones. For what ever strange reason, everyone in the house enjoyed giving them to Roy - for any reason, or no reason at all. Roy was OK with that.
Roy's mother, and two of Roy's siblings have developed some kind of tumors under their skin. Roy had approximately five tumors that were all around the size of golf balls. Some slightly larger, some smaller. They didn't seem to bother him too much but I suspect that what they were doing on the inside of his body was the root cause of his death.
On Saturday morning, Roy was moving particularly gingerly. He was slow to respond to verbal commands. I don't think he was disoriented in any way because when I called to him, it seemed obvious that he wanted to get up and come by me. He just couldn't because of pain and discomfort. He laid around most of the day. Ellie and Michael had given him some treats earlier in the day but by afternoon, he didn't want anything to do with food.
I called for him to come outside so that he could relieve himself. He got up very slowly and walked the 10 or so steps to the door. When he saw the half step down through the door way, followed by the four steps from the porch to the ground - he stopped. Apparently this was a challenge that he was not up to. Peggy and I carried him outside where he just stood in the grass. He attempted to squat down but just couldn't do it. He collapsed under his own weight and pain. There he laid. Wanting to respond, but unable to do so.
I sat outside with him for an hour or so. The breeze was getting cooler and the light was beginning to fade. Roy laid there panting heavily and periodically having some kind of muscle cramping/spasm. He was in pain. I knew he was not going to walk anymore so I picked him up and carried him into the house. At 85 lbs., being completely off of the ground and moving without using his own strength was awkward for both him and I. Not only was he in pain, but he was probably quite fearful that I would drop him. I set him down in our pantry where he usually lays and he just stood there trying to recover from the trip in. Peggy brought him some extra rugs for him to lay on and be as comfortable as possible. Sometime during the night or early morning hours, Roy slipped away.
We got the kids up a little earlier Sunday morning and told them of what had happened. Peggy and I were interested to see Michael's reaction to the news. Since all of this happened so fast we weren't exactly sure at this time about the root cause. We had previously read that in some cases, adopted children can be abusive towards animals. Although we hadn't observed this in Michael, we wanted to be sure that he was not in any way associated with Roy's death.
One thing that did come to light - again - was Michael's lack of cause and effect thinking. While he knew that Roy had died and that we were all sad, it didn't immediately occur to him that our sadness was due to Roy's death. Perhaps he knew that sadness often occurs at or around the time of tragic events, but I'm not certain that he realized the event was the cause of the sadness. If you have not adopted an abused institutionalized child or been around people with psychological problems, you may not be able to understand what I mean.
Michael did however realize that the passing of Roy created an opportunity to get a new dog. He made some tactless comments to one of the other kids about Roy and the breed of dog he was. I believe that Michael does not know how to handle grief or loss even though he has lost more than all of us put together. Dealing with pain is something we are working on with him.
After we returned from church, my oldest son and I dug a grave and we all had a short "good-bye" ceremony. We laid Roy in the dirt, thanked God for his life and the joy he brought to our lives, and we covered him up. The girls set flowers on the fresh earth and we reminded each other of some of the aspects of Roy's life that stood out to us and will be missed.
Michael finally cried and I think he was able to put all the mental puzzle pieces together. We walked back to the house quietly with Michael lagging behind. He didn't want anyone to see his face and red watery eyes. When we got back into the yard, I reminded him of the joy he first had when he stepped into our lives over two years ago.
SEBAKA!!!!!
