- 8/13/2009 9:58:55 PMSenseless Continuous LyingLast night Michael decided he wanted to work with some glue upstairs in his room. He came down and asked mom. "Can I use some wood glue? I want to work on my airplane."
Michael has a wooden model bi-plane that he got for his birthday. He has the wings glued, the wheels are on, the tail is mounted to the body. All that is left is to do is glue the main wings to the body and put the propeller on.
Mom replies, "Sure, go and get your plane bring it down stairs and you can work on it at the table."
Michael responds, "Can I use a drill? I need to put my propeller on my plane."
What happened to the glue? Why do you now need a drill and you're not going to bring your plane down and use some glue on it like you just asked?
crickets... um... some incoherent mumbling... um... more crickets... more mumbling about some kind of popcicle sticks... um...
Michael goes up stairs and back into his room to look at a book. A few minutes later, I go into his room and ask him about what just happened.
"Why did you lie about the glue and the plane?", I ask.
Michael: "I just... well I... I... I'm trying to think... Just a minute... I... I don't know."
As it turns out, Michael has also been working on a home-made boat/raft made of popcycle sticks. He alternates working on his plane and the raft and keeps both of them on his little desk.
Mom, "Why didn't you just ask me about gluing the raft? My answer would have been the same. I would have told you to go and get your raft, bring it down stairs and work on it at the table".
Michael: "I just thought my chances would be better if I asked about the plane".
I cannot tell you how many times this cycle has played out in our house. It is usually about something stupid that has no baring on anything of importance. Perhaps half of the time he lies with the intention of deceiving you or hiding his intentions about something. I know this because he will later admit to having previous thought about and making the decision to lie because he thought the odds were in his favor to do so. There is a word for this and it is "premeditated". He continues this despite the fact that the success rate of getting what he wants by lying about it is near zero. The other half of the time, he will lie for no apparent reason. Regardless of the underlying reason, deceit is ALWAYS the first thing that comes into his mind and out of his mouth when he contemplates how to acquire something he wants.
For example, if Michael is walking through the house and headed towards the book shelf and I see him walking but I don't know where his is coming from or where he is headed, I might ask "where are you going?". He will respond, "I am going outside to pet the cats." - which is totally untrue. Then he might do something like go out to the barn and check for eggs or go and play with a stick or ball. Then when I ask him, "I thought you were going out to pet the cats" all I get is a blank stare. Sometimes the blank stare is followed by another lie.
Lies to cover lies. Deception and misdirection. These are Michael's ways.
I ask him about this and he doesn't know why. Neither do I.
Thank God we are not alone -
Older Child Adoption Issues: Lying (yet again)
